How to cope with fear of intimacy

April 27, 2017

Someone said to me a few days ago something that really hit home. They said "In life, we are actually always alone. The moment the ombilical cord is being cut straight after birth, this is it, that blissful fusion we felt for 9 months in...

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Why are human relationships so difficult?

April 13, 2017

And I'm not talking just about romantic relationships. I'm talking about all our interactions with other humans. Work relationships, friendships, lovers, family... I've been observing intensely recently how we interact with each other. And I must admit I often feel quite baffled - and a little...

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Don’t believe the story

January 28, 2017

In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) we work a lot with observing the thoughts in our head and how they contribute to our issues. The key principles behind CBT is that our thoughts directly create our emotions, which in turn dictate our behaviours and actions. So for...

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What’s the secret to happy relationships?

May 17, 2016

As I'm about to train students in Transactional Analysis skills for coaches next weekend, I'm exploring the drama triangle dynamic in depth at the moment. I'm quite interested by the work of Barry and Janae Weinhold on codependency, where they explore the early childhood dynamics's...

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How do you deal with difficult times?

May 10, 2016

I am reading a book by Thomas Moore, the dark night of the soul, that is really starting to shift my approach to therapy. As a solution-focused trained therapist myself, I have always adopted the view that when issues arise and dark emotions take over...

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Do you know yourself?

February 3, 2016

Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living" whilst Aristotle thought that "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom". People often ask me why it is so important to know ourselves and why the self-development world insists so much on the value of...

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